It is official....I am officially a single woman now. Officially divorced on January 7, 2011. It is a bittersweet feeling, yet I am excited about what the future holds for me. I am happy. Not about the fact that I am divorced, but happy that things are settled. I know that there is still the possibility for issues to arise, but I now feel a little more in control of my life. A feeling I have not felt in a year. No, in 20 years....wow. It is hard to believe that for the last 20 years, I have been attached to someone. This is the first time in my life that I have been on my own....and yet I'm really not on my own. First of all I have these 4wonderful children to care for. And that is something I will never be regretful of. They are my joy!
But mostly I am not alone, for I have an awesome heavenly father. God has brought me sooooo far! He has always been there with me, but in the last year I have felt Him even more, on a daily basis. It reminds me of the footprints in the sand poem.
Footprints
One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
...Mary Stevenson
I know He has always been there, and looking back I realize that in those hardest times, He was there carrying me. Otherwise I never would have made it on my own.
So now, in this newest found freedom, what next????? Whatever is next, I pray for God to lead me....or as stated before..to carry me. For I cannot do this on my own. I would be a hot mess if I even attempted it. So carry me Lord Jesus for my feet are tired and weary and I don't even know the way there. Be my GPS for life, showing me where to make those necessary U-turns.
So stay tuned folks...who knows where my new life will take me....wherever I go, you can be assured that it will be just as busy and crazy as it always has been. And I am trusting that God is gonna get me there...so carry me Lord Jesus...my inner GPS won't work without you....
I will be thinking of you! Divorce is hard, but you will prevail!
ReplyDeleteyou can do it. and you get to make all your own decisions, like what colors to paint & which trash can to buy and what sports the kids play... and so many more. i'm glad for you that it's done.
ReplyDeleteyou will certainly make it through this... just remember that you don't have to be a superhero, just hold fast to one! :)
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