I never realized how difficult it was going to be......you know, to let my guard down....to take down the wall I have built around my heart. It is still there. Standing firm, bricks and mortar in place, and as high as ever. I have trust issues....more so than I ever imagined. Of course, this is understandable, seeing as how every ounce of trust I had in the past, was torn from my grasp without the slightest bit of care.... I would have thought that by now, I would be able to at least peer over this wall I built, but instead I dangle from the top, with my fingertips barely reaching over. On guard for the very moment I might need to let go and hide again. I wonder at what point this fear and doubt goes away? When do I learn that not everyone is out to deceive??
One day I might......and then again, maybe I'm just not supposed to....one day God may just open my eyes and I will see the truth, or He may just expect me to have faith....
Do you ever wish the writing could just be on the wall???? Maybe in purple ink??? Or maybe a bright pink flashing sign would do.....and a pink jack hammer to help the wall down...lol...yes, that would do it.
Dear God, could you just send a pink jackhammer when its time for the wall to come down???? Then I would know it was safe to trust again....
lol! i like the visual.
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