How much do referees get paid?

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree.....could you please take yourself down and get packed away so I can work on the other things in life? Such as the laundry pile (I really need underwear), playing referee to the kids, the dishes in the sink, playing referee to the kids, reorganizing for the new gifts, playing referee to the kids, cleaning the bathrooms, playing referee to the kids, gathering up the trash, playing referee to the kids, feeding the dog, playing referee to the kids......are you noticing a trend???

Today has felt like one big battle....maybe it's the fact that we havent been out much due to the temperatures? or maybe we have been out of our school routine for too long, but the kids seem to be getting on each others nerves. Not that they don't normally argue, but it just seems worse today.

I would love for them to just stop yelling at one another for the day...playing with their new things, or just sitting around watching a movie together without a battle....is this too much to ask? A quiet afternoon would be nice....while watching them enjoy the time they have with each other. They are growing so fast, and will one day, sooner than we realize, be going off on their own to live life...So today kids, enjoy the time you have together, play nice, respect each others feelings, treat them in the way you want to be treated, and give this mom a bit of a referee break.......

Oh, and I might like to have a shower today too.....

It is time for some fun! I have finished my shopping, and now I need to wrap some gifts and prepare the house for the kids return Christmas Eve.....this year is going to be great! So many surprises and wonderful things planned...I am having a hard time focusing on actually cleaning....oohhh something shiny! You get the picture. Lol!

The kids will meet me back at the church for the Christmas Eve service on Friday. It is a tradition I intend to keep. They enjoy the music, the story, and most of all the candle lighting (that part makes me nervous). Christmas is such a sweet time, and I want to keep our traditions true and maybe add some new ones of our own. Christmas cookies on the eve is definitely on my schedule for this year! And of course we will awake with sausage balls and juice for Christmas morning! That is one of our favorites! The house will be chaotic for awhile and then we will relax while one of the kids reads the Christmas story from the bible. I will always encourage them all to worship God...though sometimes we get caught up in the hustle bustle, they will know what the celebration is all about.

Only 6 more days, and they will be back home....wow, I better get busy! There are presents to wrap, rooms to clean, and groceries to buy....better not forget the sugar sprinkles!

It's Christmas time again.....2010

It's here again....the time of year I love so very much. Last year, began a new experience for us. It was the first Christmas with me being the only parent at home. We had a great time and made it thru the year just fine. This year is still going a bit differently from what we are used to. Last year, the kids and I were still together for the whole vacation, other than the scheduled visits with their dad. This year, the kids will be staying with their dad this whole week until Christmas Eve. Not many people like change, and I am probably the worst at accepting it....lol. So now, they have left for their visit, and I am sitting here trying to figure out how things got to be so very different.

As I said, I love this time of year so very much! I love the family time, the parties, and all of the shopping in crowded malls....I know, I'm crazy...(believe me, I've been told numerous times)...but I just love to watch people and how they react to this time of year. Some are excited creatures, bumbling around from place to place, searching for just the right items for each person on their list. There are lots, who are in and out finding what they need and quickly getting back to their normal routines. Others, come in, scratch their heads, frown, and just walk around discouraged that they can't find the items they want. I love to look at all these people! Its just completely interesting! Myself? I am the bumbler...especially on Black Friday!

I love the decorations, and the gifts, and the music! I love the church services, the visits with family, and all the food! I sooo love Christmas! And though this year brings yet even more change for me and my 4 wonderful children, I will still remind them of the greatest gift that ever was. Even in our struggles, my children will know that God gave us His only son....a great and perfect gift for all.

Be still and know that I am here.....

This weekend was a long one for me, and by long, I don't mean extended. I spent a lot of time alone. The kids were at their dad's house, so it was quiet here. Most of us have been at that point of needing some quiet, but this weekend for me was almost too quiet. On Saturday, I didn't leave my house at all. I spent a lot of time resting, due to pain issues with my back. And even more time was spent reflecting over this past year. I easily could have slipped into a state of despair or depression, and believe me when I say I was close. Life has been hard this past year, as we have faced many difficult changes. I went from being married to my high school sweetheart, to facing the long hard journey of divorce. It hasn't been an easy road to travel. And in fact was not a choice I made. But that being said, it is still a reality. This, on top of raising 4 beautiful children that God has entrusted me with, has made life even more difficult. Life is HARD! And sometimes it gets me down.....but God is constantly there. He surrounds me with what I need to make it through each hard bump in the road, and for this I am thankful. He has supplied every need, whether it be the food we eat, the clothes we wear, or the friends that step into our path, at just the right moment. Life is hard, but God is good!


Take a look at the lyrics to this song.....it basically says it all...
Pam Thum lyrics - Life Is Hard (God Is Good)

And the Emmy goes to........

Recently I was given a blog award! I absolutely loved it and want to pass it on to those I feel worthy of its glory, however, I am writing this post from my Droid, and still haven't quite figured out how to add some of the gadgets from here. Why from the Droid you ask????? Because, though I might be able to write a decent story every now and then, rehooking up the electronics in the house isn't my forté. Lol! Just one of those many things I am still grasping knowledge on. That being said, I would like to formally thank my dear friend Sherilin for this great award! I feel blessed! Sooo not prepared! I don't even have a speech ready! :-D

By the way, did you notice the accent mark on the e in forté??? Yep! Just one of the few technological actions I have learned! Woohoo! Anyway, thanks for reading my blog.....I hope in some way it either helps make you laugh, or at least doesn't bore you to death......

laughter is good

I love my family! They make me smile often with the things they say. Recently both boys came out with the same shared feelings about school. "Its not that we don't like school mom, we actually think its kinda fun. Its the work we don't like" lol...if they didn't have to do work, school would be their favorite place to go...hehehe. My girls tend to come out with their own silly thoughts. Once upon a time, Abby Claire told my friend Sherilin that she wished I was a little mouse, so that she could stomp on me. Wow! I must have made her mad that day, and though that could have hurt my feelings, I chose to see her creativity instead. :) Emily Grace, as the oldest, has had more opportunity to share her humor with me. My favorite is the ritual of bedtime. There always seemed to be some form of fear that caused her to worry each night. These fears would range from thinking her heart wasn't beating to thinking her eyeballs were loose and might fall out, to fearing monkeys might get her in her bed. Every night, would again be the attempt to console and then quickly turn to leave because the laughter was being stifled. Oh yes, these kiddos bring me smiles, and I'm sure there will be even more grins and giggles as they grow and mature.

Wow, what a year it has been......
Not sure what I expected, but God really taught me a lot. I learned more about faith, hope, love, peace, and patience than I ever thought possible. This whole year has been one of learning....learning a lot about myself, and what I can handle...learning how many people truly care, and having faith that all needs will be met, even if it is at the last possible moment before the need. I learned that God wants me to put my trust in Him. I learned that this also means depending on Him for everything, not just the stuff I don't think I can handle on my own. I learned that I CAN'T handle ANYTHING on my own. But GOD can. Things will never be quite the same,but I do believe that things can be great, and with Gods help I will strive to teach my children to be strong in Him, no matter what happens. God is in control! I will have that faith!

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed... Nothing will be impossible to you.
- Matthew 17:20

I look forward to seeking His will for me and finding out what He plans for my future. I know that the things I have learned thus far, are only the beginning of what He wants to teach me.....

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't blog tonight. I so feel like I needed to, but then realized that just like my facebook status, some things just don't need to be out there.

I would like for you to let go of my arm.......

Today we stopped by a local store to purchase a few drinks before my oldest child's cross-country meet. It is usually quite hot out and the kids like to have a little something to sip on while we are there. I quickly led them to the front of the store and was letting them pick out a drink from the coolers near the registers....you know the ones strategically placed so that while you are patiently waiting in line for the cashier, you immediately get thirsty? On the front of the cooler that contained the Pepsi products, were stickers advertising a sale price for Mt. Dew and Pepsi. I love Diet Mt. Dew, so this was my pick. Hollis chose Mt. Dew, and the others chose drinks from another cooler that were not advertised cheaper. When the cashier rang me up, I did what I always do and checked the prices as they came up on the screen....sure enough, they were incorrect....my Diet Mt. Dew and Hollis' Mountain Dew did not come up on sale. I brought this to the cashiers attention, and she argued that it wasn't both Diet and regular on sale, but just the regular....HA....she tried to explain away the fact that it didn't ring up right. I asked her to get her manager, as the price was actually double that of the sale price. Lol...when she returned, and fixed the price, I thanked her and again commented that the sign DID say they were on sale, at which point....are you ready for this?





The cashier








At this point,


















SHUSHED ME!








And not only did she shush me,











Wait for it.....





















Wait...........



















SHE GRABBED ME BY THE WRIST!!!!

I WAS LIVID!

I calmly removed my arm from her tight grasp, and asked her not to shush me again.....

Hhmmmffff!!!

When the manager came back to sign off on the price adjustment, I kindly told her that it would be wise if she reminded her employees NOT to shush or grab the customers in their lines....lol......really?????? I could have filed harassment!! Lol

Wow, what an interesting last couple of days I have had!! Lol

Ummm, no sir, this food isn't ours, but we decided to eat it anyway...

Ummm, no sir, this food isn't ours, but we just decided to eat it anyway.... WHAT?!

Imagine yourself eating out. You place your order, get your drink, and then find a table at which you wait for your order number to be called. When you hear your number, you arise from your seat and go to the counter to pick up your food. When you return to your table, you realize that the food on the tray does not match the order you placed......Here is where you pick your own ending...

YOU

a: return to the counter and straighten out the fact that you have received the wrong meal

or,

b: you decide that it really doesn't matter, that even if someone else is waiting for this order, you are going to eat it anyway

This weekend, while eating out, I witnessed firsthand, someone making this very decision.

THEY CHOSE B

Yes, they received the wrong meal, and knew it wasn't theirs...but still decided to eat it anyway.

It was quite humorous really. We were sitting in the back dining room of this local restaurant, when the owner came back to ask if everyone had their food. He had been calling the order number numerous times, with no response from anyone picking it up. We had already received our meal, and were just still there chatting. Another family was eating, and the 3rd party was sitting with their drinks and no meal. It seems that the number 7 meal was never picked up,(this belonged to the family already eating) do you see the problem here? A family is eating, but didn't pick up their meal. Whose food was it??????

They had picked up the number 6 order, realized it wasn't theirs, and decided hmmm, oh well, we are hungry, we shall eat it anyway. REALLY??????? This scenario was way funny to watch, as the owner asked: Is this your meal??? Um no sir, and that isnt our salad either...hehehehe....I think it was even funnier that they were sitting right next to the table of people whose food they had snatched....lol

Eventually both families were fed, with one family not receiving the correct order(because they had grabbed the wrong one), and the ones who got jipped received a freshly cooked order when it was determined that theirs was stolen...lol

kudos to a restaurant owner for quickly resolving the issue, and making sure everyone was happy.....including those who didn't care what they ate, as long as they were fed....lol

It's the important decisions...like garbage cans and storage totes

Have I mentioned how much I love to go to the hardware stores?????? I spent 2 hours tonight just strolling down the aisles looking at things to better my house. There are so many different things that need to be done, and though it may seem like that would be bad news, I was thoroughly enjoying the realization that I am capable of taking care of these things...whether I hire someone, or do the chore myself. For a single woman, it is very fulfilling to make decisions about lighting, shower doors, or even just a garbage can (which is what I purchased tonight).

It was SO great!!!! I LOVE hardware stores!!!!! I made my way down the aisle where the garbage cans were displayed, and there were so many to choose from. Wheels, no wheels, large oversized cans that were hard to lift, smaller cans that wouldn't hold enough for my house, and then there it was...the perfect garbage can for my needs. It had wheels, which is a plus for me, and it was a good sized can for the job. A little on the heavy side, but I was still able to lift it into my cart. And then the fun began. I could not wait to continue down the aisles with the monstrocity I had picked out on my own. However, I couldn't see over the can to steer down the aisles, so I reluctantly put my purchase at the register until my shopping was complete. I shopped a little longer before picking up a few storage totes and then decided to head home. I paid the cashier for my totes and garbage can, and when he asked if I needed help with the monster trash receptacle, I proudly said no and guided it out of the store along with my buggy full of storage containers. AND, to top off my fun-filled evening, I was thrilled to find a way to maneuver my large purchases into my van, amongst the clutter, ALL ON MY OWN!!!!!! Fun times!!!!

Oh the things that make my evening! Sometimes the smallest things can be what keeps us going. I felt like a somebody. I was able to make decisions, and they were important ones...I mean really, you can't pick just ANY garbage can!!!!

I LOVE HARDWARE STORES!!!!!!!!

Just can't fix it....it isn't my job

I'm a fixer....plain and simple. I don't like for things to be unsettled. I want everyone to get along. I try really hard to point out the good in people, even when the good is very hard to find. I find myself thinking through things that need to be fixed, looking for the best way to create a situation of understanding. And even when I am not exactly being treated well, it is still my hope to do the right thing always. Daily I am faced with issues I just cannot fix. It is heartbreakig. I want things to be right, even in a wrong world. I am realizing more and more each day that I wasn't meant to be the fixer. I cannot make everything right.

I'm sorry...
I'm sorry that things aren't what we expected...
Sorry that life isn't going as it should...
and yet as I apologize, I am understanding that even in this imperfect world, we will be ok. And because of this realization, I smile a little more each day.
Life changed drastically a year ago....struggles arose that I wasn't sure how I would fix them. I wasn't meant to fix them. I was only expected to have faith. God has blessed me greatly over the past year. Not that He hasn't blessed me before then, but I am more aware of His provisions. He has blessed me with family and friends who in many different ways shine with His love. And for this I am truly thankful.

Yes, I am still sorry.....sorry that I couldn't make everything right.
Sorry that each day brings new challenges for the kids and myself, but grateful that I have a God that doesn't expect me to fix it. I am grateful for a loving heavenly father who is teaching me to trust Him to be the fixer. I mean afterall, does he really need my help? No, He is more than able to supply all we need without me jumping in and screwing things up.

Sometimes I just gotta sing......

Tonight I came home and wanted to blog.... I even had my idea already of what I wished to complain, er.... write about. I came home completely prepared to vent loudly about the experience I had while getting the oldest her sports physical. I was prepared to speak loudly of my anger for being told we were 3rd in line, and then wait two and a half hours, only to be put in a room for an additional 20 minutes, and then when we were finally seen, the doctor was done in 3 whole minutes! Whew!!!! But then I went to choir practice, and as angry as I was, I could not continue my rage. The choir was singing the song "God Is Here", and though I was late arriving (due to the long doc visit) I began to sing as soon as I recognised the song. My heart rate went from pumping so hard I thought I would explode, to a calm peace. And though I ranted a little above....that was more for the humor, and how angry I was before I began to sing. Sometimes I just gotta sing....and it brings me to a comfortable, peaceful place.

Recently, I tried to go back to my small group at church. I have been taking a sabbatical from the class due to my home situations......and instead have been serving in the nursery with the infants. I decided that this was the week that I would start fresh and anew. My friends have been so very supportive of me while I have been out, and were ready to welcome me back instantly. I lasted 5 minutes before the tears began to flow of old memories, and thoughts of how it is supposed to be. Immediately I knew I ad to get out of there before the class became a small pond. I went to my car and just let all the hurt and the anger of life's trials flow freely in tear form. I sat out there until it was time for choir to meet to sing for the service, and then went to join in. It was wonderful! The songs flowed with such power, and by the end of the worship time, I was smiling from the sunshine I felt inside. Sometimes I just gotta sing....it brings me to a comfortable, peaceful place.

As I said, I spend a great bit of time serving in the nursery with the infants. A lot of times they are less than happy to be there. I just love snuggling up the ones that are so upset, and being challenged to keep them content. Lately, we have had a few visiting, or new babies. They don't know us well, and it sometimes takes a little more time for them to adjust. Many times they are screaming from a lap, or high chair, or wherever else we have put them to try and settle them. I usually start to sing. I try to pick a song that has a short verse, and can be repeated over and over ( in case they like it), and recently it has been "Jesus loves Me". I love singing for them and watching as it sometimes helps take their mind off the fact that they were left there in the nursery. It is especially nice, when they all get quiet and listen. I feel happy that it is helping, and my heart is happy i the process. Sometimes I just gotta sing....andyes, even with the crying babies, it brings me to a comfortable, peaceful place..........

Tonight's blog was supposed to be a bashing. It was supposed to express my anger for a health facility, but now that I look back...it became almost comical that we waited soooo long for a 3 minute visit...and maybe, just maybe my lesson from God was about the songs, and how I am supposed to use my voice to serve.....

Sometimes I just gotta sing....and it brings me to that comfortable, peaceful place....

Now listen here Life.........

Last night, we went to see the new Karate Kid movie. It was at the cheap theater. I decided to take the kids, since we will be heading back to the school year routine, later this week. The movie was great! Not completely like the one I remember with "Mr. Miyagi", or "Daniel san", but just really good. At one point in the movie, "Dre" reminds his teacher of something he had taught him...He said "Life can knock you down, but you can choose whether or not to get back up"...This quote got me thinking about where life has brought me. Life has certainly got me down quite a bit lately. Daily, I face different trials with what life has dealt me. And a through a lot of those trials, I have not chosen to get back up very quickly. I usually look around waiting for something nice to set me back on my feet, but all along it has been my choice to get back up and keep pushing forward. So that is my goal, and though there will be setbacks, I want to choose to get back up and say "now lisen here, life......you're not gonna keep me down for long. I have a God who cares! I have friends and famiy who love me! And those are good enough reasons to get back up and keep going"...Amazing how we can learn these lessons on a typical family outing to the movies.

Now, on another note.....Karate Kid might not be the wisest choice later in the evening for two rambunctious little boys. Especially if you ant to get to the car at a normal pace, instead of kung fu fighting every step along the way. :-)

I want to be on Wipeout!

A couple of nights ago, I sat down to watch a little T.V. on my own. The kids were visiting with their dad, and would not be home for a couple hours. As I flipped thru the stations, I came across the show Wipeout! I had heard about the show, but only seen a small bit of it a couple times. Wow! I had really missed out! I watched as these people bounced, smashed, careened, and were punched numerous times by the different obstacles on the show. I was amazed! This was a particularly long show for the evening, and the more I watched, the more I wanted to try it. The big balls were my favorite. I found myself contemplatng just how I would make it across. I had already realized the motivator that smashes you into starting the course if you wait to long, so I knew I would have to just go with it and race to the finish. I would start running immediately, as I know I would need to keep up speed to bounce just right on each of the balls. I can picture myself as I jump and bounce directly to the middle of the ball and kicking away from it as if on a trampoline...only to land perfectly on the next one...super mario music playing in the background as I make my way all the way...I mean, I am pretty good at super mario! This could be my chance, you know to win big money and have quite a bit of fun along the way. I REALLY could do this!

I made the mistake however, of sharing these thoughts with my children,as well as a friend who immediately burst into tears and howls of laughter, and posted immediately to facebook was a status by my oldest that her mom was crazy...imagine that! This prompted an immediate conversation about my training and how they need to post videos of my trial runs that they would secretly take...they even laughed as I stated I would need to pick out a great outfit to wear exhibiting the look of the super mario characters...and I definitely want those sound effects.....boing, boing! HAHAHA...oh well, I guess that one day if I get on the show and master those big balls, then we will see who has the last laugh!!!......Does anyone know where I can get an application?

These are a few of my favorite things....

Over the years I have determined some of my different favorites. Some of these things are foods or candies, and some of them are scents, colors, activities, and such. Tonight I was having a snack, and my mind wandered to these things, so i decided I needed to blog about it....I mean, one would not want to forget about such wondermous things...lol

One of my favorite snacks is Cheezit party mix....I absolutely love the little puffs of garlicky goodness. I will sit and pick through every bit until I have eaten every little one. Of course, I love the rest of the mix too, but the little puffs are my favorite.

Many of my friends know about my favorite candy...it is a new favorite, as I just in the past year have become aquainted with Swedish Fish. I don't like the multicolored ones, i only like the red ones. Recently I was shopping at Wal-mart and they DID NOT have my Swedish Fish. I even looked two times, determined that if I continued to look, they would somehow appear between the sour patch kids, and the gummy worms. To my dismay, I left empty handed...well, not really empty handed, I mean really? I was at Wal-mart, and one cannot leave without finding something they need. By empty handed, I meant without Swedish Fish. :-(

My favorite scents are florals. Most people enjoy the sweet scents of vanilla, or cinnamon, and these are definitely nice, but I love Gardenia, or honeysuckle, or magnolia.....I love to get a candle in one of these and put in every room.... However, during the holidays,I do tend to get out those sweet smells, just for the time of year.

I love musicals!!!! I love Grease, Cats, High School Musical (all 3), Sound of Music, Evita, Mamma Mia, pretty much all the Disney flicks...although Mermaid has to be my favorite, and Phantom of the Opera, just to name a few. Many have suffered thru watching these along with me as I proceed to sing along with my best acting/singing voice....And as these few watched along, there was sometimes a little bit of eye rolling...but I dont care, I LOVE MUSICALS!!!! LOL

My favorite color is green...like the green you find in the crayon box. But when it comes to clothing or accessories, my favorite is PINK! Pink everything, from the color of my shirt or jewelry, to the color of my phone case (which I just recently had to change to black because they were out of Pink) I am a Mary Kay consultant, and I would be perfectly happy to have a pink car, however I have a large family, so if they ever choose to offer the pink on a minivan version, I am ready to take it! I Love Pink!!!!

I remember when they opened up one of those candy stores in the mall, where you could go through and fill the sack with different varieties including jelly beans. Jelly Belly was the biggest name brand back then, and I'm quite sure it is now, and they ghad such a large variety of flavors, I couldn't always resist trying them all out. From the original flavors like cherry or orange, to the more exotic flavors like tropical punch or popcorn (yes, they have popcorn flavored jelly beans)...they had them all. My favorites included strawberry and/or cotton candy flavored. I always liked it when I was able to stop by and get a small assortment to take in to work with me.

My favorite car growing up was the Trans Am. I so desperately wanted the one off of Smokey and the Bandit. I wanted mine to be identical. Right down to the bronze colored spread eagle on the hood....I know, call me redneck, but some part of me would still love to have that car! T-tops and all!

I don't drink coffee, but I do like to go to Starbucks. It being very expensive, this is one of those things that only happen on rare occasions. When I do get to go, I always get the same thing, cause I know it is something I like and will drink. I love the Java Chip Frappachino....yes, I think it is fabulous, right down to getting chocolate chips stuck in the straw...yummmm!!!!!! And the extra kick of caffeine is kinda fun too...for those of you who know me well, caffeine only makes me that much louder!!!! LOL

I love to sing! Christian contemp., country, rock....you name it, I love it! Karaoke is one of the greatest inventions of all times....Everyone can be a star, if only for a few minutes....even though not everyone is partial to some of those voices....lol.

And last, but certainly not least, and only because it is getting late, and I don't want to stay up any later to put more favorite things in......lol......
My favorite ice cream is...drumroll please..........
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.
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.
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VANILLA!!!!!!!! I love a huge bowl of vanilla ice cream, hard frozen out of the freezer, with a little bit of milk poured over the top, creating a nice, icy, creamy, milky, vanilla-y mixture. YUM!!! I could eat it every night and not get tired of it...of course, I would be as big as a house, but sometimes it is worth it!!!! I love me some ice cream!!!!

Well there you have it...these are just a few of my favorite things.......

No control

I'm feeling a bit blah tonite, and as a result I have posted a couple songs on facebook that really speak to me. I wanted to blog about the frustration I am feeling right now, but it isnt flowing as well, so I am going to post the lyrics on here instead. Look at them carefully and truly "hear" the message they bring.

"Slow Fade"
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade


Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see




In Better Hands

It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
And you can't love if you don't love yourself
But there is hope when my faith runs out
'Cause I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining
When the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine, there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

I am strong, all because of You
I stand in awe of every mountain that You move
For I am changed, yesterday is gone
I am safe from this moment on
And there's no fear when the night comes 'round
I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining
When the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine, there's no doubt
I'm in better hands,
yeah It's like the sun is shining
When the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
It's like the world is silent
Though I know it isn't true
It's like the breath of Jesus
Is right here in this room
So take this heart of mine, there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now
I'm in better hands now

Yes, I drink Diet Coke, No I'm not on a diet

Recently I took the kids out for lunch at Cici's Pizza. School is out for summer, and occasionally we get to go out for an extra activity. We went in, payed for our lunch, received our cups, and promptly got in line for pizza. They have such a variety to pick from, and I tend to load my plate with many types. I usually want to try the different ones they have out, and sometimes I will even place an order for a specific one. On this day, I chose a couple of slices to start with, and then placed my order for their rustic style pizza. It is one of my favorites because of the thin crust and the sicilian spices they use. It is quite tasty. I then proceeded to get my drink so that I would not have to get up again too quickly after finding a place to sit. With my plate piled high ( I also had stopped by the salad bar and added this to my plate as well), I made my way to the drink station. I got my ice, and then placed my cup below my favorite drink: Diet Coke. As I pushed the cup under the fountain to fill it up, It made this loud annoying racket, drawing attention from those at the tables closest. And there I stood, slowly filling my cup with my Diet Coke, plate piled high with pepperoni pizza (it was only 2 slices), some salad, a couple of bread sticks, and Here I was getting a Diet Coke. As if this attempt to drink something with the word "diet" in it, would counteract the fact that the food choice was loaded with so many things that were not so healthy. Talk about a contradiction, lol. And with those around me staring too. Ok, they really weren't staring, but I felt like the noise the machine was making made those around me take notice and it could have made them question my "diet". As if they really had an interest in the matter. I could almost hear them saying: "geez, look at her....not a good diet plan she has.....does she really think drinking the diet drink will help her lose if she eats all that....could her plate be any fuller" And although I realize they really aren't paying me any attention, I suddenly wanted to look at those around me and yell: "Yes, I drink Diet Coke, and no, I'm not on a diet".

The Life of a Single Woman: Pros and Cons

Though, technically I haven't made it to "single" status, I have been living single since last September. And as I go through each day, fight the fierce battles this new life has to offer, I find myself giggling about some of these battles, and crying a little about the other battles. Hence, the reason for this blog. The pros vs. cons of being a single woman. The following is my list in no particular order.

Pros:
1. I make many decisions on a daily basis...they are MY decisions. And though sometimes I could use a sounding block for my ideas, I am empowered by the fact that I get to make the ultimate decisions. For example: we have a new puppy...I decided we would get this puppy, I didn't have to call home to check and see if I could bring him home..I just said "yes, I would like this puppy to come live with me" and now I have a puppy.

2. Control of the remote! lol! Our T.V. stays on the kids channels for the majority of time, but when the kids go to bed, I can watch whatever I want to. Hallmark channel, cooking channel, Lifetime, TLC, just to mention a few. I can also watch a full show without having to "flip" though commercials. The History channel will rarely be on at my house, and though sometimes I find the Discovery Channel interesting, it isn't my first choice....hmmm, and I get to decide...lol

3. Going to bed when I want to. I am a late night person. I like to stay up til I'm falling asleep. I enjoy the fact that no one is telling me when I need to come to bed. I am a grown-up, and if I decide to stay up late, then I understand the consequences and will only blame myself..again, my choice...lol

4. Getting all the alone time I want is sometimes nice. I can read a book, watch T.V., facebook, or just sit on the couch to relax. No need to worry about anyone seeing me with no make-up on, or trying to impress. I can sit in my sweats, and do absolutely nothing. I can fix a drink, or eat a snack, and no one asks me to share. And if I choose to eat the last swiss cake roll, no one is gonna look at me and say "hey, I was gonna eat that" or, "can I have one" cause there is no one there to complain.


Cons:

1. Scary sounds in the house at night. I do not like having to check out the late night sounds. I am a big chicken. My imagination tends to run away with me. I usually go looking around with a look in my eye that is supposed to show no fear, but it is probably more of a "deer in the headlights" look.

2. Wasps or hornets nests. This is not my expertise. I do not prefer to be chased by these flying insects while aiming a can that may or may not spray in the direction necessary to kill on contact. Besides, if the killing on contact is while they are in the process of stinging me, then what is the point? I did learn from a friend, that it is best to spray at night when they are sleeping? Of course, I can't really see where I am spraying at night, so I gave it a good dousing (the spray was dripping from the corner of the garage, but at least I knew for sure they were coated well).

3. Sick kids in the middle of the night. This is by far one of my least favorite single woman jobs. What used to be a team effort of clean-up, now falls to single me. It was a lot easier when one of us took the sick kid to clean up and comfort, while the other changed the sheets on the bed. Now it is the running back and forth between bathroom and bedroom: "Are you alright?" while the child pukes in the toilet, to trying to find the extra sheets, and stuff the yuckies into the wash while barely touching them. It is certainly a task that can be handled by one, but it is much nicer when someone pitches in.

4. The time of night after the kids are in bed are lonely. Sure, I can call a friend, or text, or get on the computer and chat, but there are times when it would be nice to have someone rub my head while we watched T.V. Or maybe fighting playfully over what to watch in the evenings could be enjoyable. And then, there are the times when you don't have to say anything at all, but just sitting together, having a late night snack, or holding hands. I don't like to be alone ALL the time, but when you are single, you do get a LOT of alone time.

So there you have it. A small list of the pros and cons of being a single woman. Good points made on both sides, and I hope to continue adding to these lists as time goes by. Feel free to comment if you have more to add, as it can be as long of a list as it needs to be, because it is mine, and I get to choose...lol.

Life...Unconditional

Where do I even start? Life has a funny way of catching us by surprise. It's like one day you're going along, living life, just keeping up with the day to day, when WHAM BAM! Life smacks us in the face! We then begin to question why. Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? What happens next? and one of the most familiar....WHY did God ALLOW this to happen to me? Many times we ask these questions, because we don't think we deserve for things to happen to us...but why not?

What did we do that should keep us from the trials of life?

The answer is nothing...absolutely nothing should keep us from these many trials we will face in a lifetime.

The old saying that comes to mind is this: we were never promised a rose garden in life. We live day to day expecting everything to go our way. We want that perfect job, that perfect family, with the perfect spouse, and the perfect kids....WHAM BAM....REALITY!!!!! There is no such thing as a perfect human. Were you ready for that smack? Most people probably weren't.

I got caught up in that lie, myself. And life smacked me in the face!!!! Big time!!!!

And though I could really get caught up in the pity party ( I do at times) , I can also realize that even in these storms, God is there. He is with us during all of our trials of life. And though sometimes we are allowed to hurt.....He doesn't let go. He is big enough to handle it all. We, again ,are given the opportunity to choose....to choose to let go and let God. I know...another saying, but with a tremendous amount of truth.

I am thankful that although life throws us many hurdles, I can always count on God's unconditional love.

He is with you....Mandisa

There’s a time to live and a time to die
There’s a time to laugh and a time to cry
There’s a time for war and a time for peace
There’s a hand to hold in the worst of these
In the worst of these
He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can’t even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn’t kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby’s gone
And your house is still, and your heart’s a stone
Cryin’ God, what’d You do that for
He is with you
There’s a time for yes and a time for no
There’s a time to be angry and a time to let it go
There is a time to run and a time to face it
There is love to see you through all of this
Through all of this
He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don’t know you anymore
He is with you in the I.C.U
When the doctors don’t know what to do
And it scares you to the core, he is with you
We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light!!!
He is with you when your kids are grown
When there’s too much space and you feel alone
And you’re worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes, He is with you when you’ve given up
On ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
HE is with you
When nothing else is left
And you take your final breath
HE is with you
HE is with you

Unconditional

As I sat down today, I felt stressed, almost to a point of making me crazy. Not because of the kids, or the bills, or the day-to-day junk, but because of me. If I'm not careful, I find myself slipping away from who I really am to become the person others want me to be. I got tired of trying to be someone I wasn't just to please. It isn't that I don't want to please, but the realization, that I can "please" the way I am now. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. God made me beautiful. In His eyes, I am the one He made me to be. And although I fail daily in doing His will, I know that He still loves me, for His love is unconditional. Later today, I posted a status saying that hidden beneath all the stress, crazy, and depression, lies ME..the strong woman God intended me to be. And "she" is fighting to get out. As a response to my post I was sent the following poem. I will leave you with your thoughts upon reading it.....


Phenomenal Woman




by Maya Angelou









Pretty women




wonder wheremy secret lies.




I'm not cute or built to suit




a fashion model's size




But when I start to tell them,




They think I'm telling lies.




I say.




It's in the reach of my arms




The span of my hips,




The stride of my step,




The curl of my lips.




I'm a womanPhenomenally.




Phenomenal woman,That's me.









I walk into a room




Just as cool as you please,




And to a man,




The fellows stand or




Fall down on their knees.




Then they swarm around me,




A hive of honey bees.I say,




It's the fire in my eyes,




And the flash of my teeth,




The swing in my waist,




And the joy in my feet.




I'm a womanPhenomenally.




Phenomenal woman,That's me.









Men themselves have wondered




What they see in me.




They try so much




But they can't touch




My inner mystery.




When I try to show them




They say they still can't see.I say,




It's in the arch of my back,




The sun of my smile,




The ride of my breasts,




The grace of my style.




I'm a woman,Phenomenally.




Phenomenal woman,That's me.









Now you understand




Just why my heads not bowed,




I don't shout or jump about




Or have to talk real loud.




When you see me passing




It ought to make you proud.I say,




It's in the click of my heels,




The bend of my hair,




The palm of my hand,




The need of my care.'




Cause I'm a womanPhenomenally.




Phenomenal woman,That's me.

Finding Me

As a youth, I started singing in the youth choir at Bayside Baptist church. The youth choir there was huge, and I was drawn to it. I loved that there were so many people in it, and I wanted to be apart of what they had. The love of singing for the Lord radiated greatly from this young choir as they sang. I quickly joined in, and became involved immediately in numerous events, including pageants, musicals, and mission trips. Looking back, I smiled a lot in those days. Mission trips to conduct Backyard Bible Clubs brought me to new places and showed me sights of things I had never really witnessed. One trip in particular, we were in one of the worse neighborhoods, but had a very large group of kids. As we interacted with each child, the sightings of lice showed up. And yes, it was passed on to many of my friends on this trip. I, thankfully, did not get it. This was truly something to be thankful for, especially with the thickness of my hair. Our buses were decontaminated, and everything cleaned the minute we returned home to Chattanooga. This was such a terrible thing to have happen, but we were also able to reach out to these children, and it didn't seem to matter about the lice. We just kept interacting with these kids, and many were saved. How amazing!

On these trips, we performed in many different places as well. We sang at churches, malls, and prisons. My love for singing grew and grew as we saw the looks on the peoples faces as we continued singing songs about God, and His love for us.

Later, when I got married, I still sang, but by this time I was in the adult choir. And again was the opportunity to share about God through singing. Later, life became busier, as each year passed, and 4 children were born within 6 years. Life choices were made, and I found myself moving away from singing. This was a very sad time in my life. Each Sunday, I would sit in a pew, as I cried. My tears were genuine. They showed my understanding of where God wanted me, and I knew I was being disobedient. What a painful time in my life. Today, I am still going through this painful time, but have since rejoined the choir, allowing me to sing solos, and try out for various things. I now sing in an ensemble. I sang the special music, on a Sunday night recently, and this weekend I will be singing backup for a dear friend of mine.

It feels good to be singing again. I know that God is allowing me to be apart of a wonderful thing, even though I pushed it aside for awhile. I say these things, not to bring myself glory, but to thank God out loud for being who He is, and reopening these doors for me, even though I am the one that shut them in the first place.

Over the past six months, I have gone through many emotions. Hurt, worthlessness, sadness, bitterness, and anger. Today, I am pleased that I can say God brought me through those emotions one by one. I still have a rough road ahead, but I can relax knowing that God has given me a gift. One that not only shares His word, but also allows me to find "me" again.

Looking ahead

the future holds so many possibilities for those who are ready to embark upon it...when i relate this to my life, i almost get excited, but also feel quite overwhelmed by the anticipation of whats to come. God is here, and i know he will not leave me. so many times i have tried to be the fixer, and today i realize that He needs no help. He is God and He is in control. i am so thankful for how He has already blessed my life this year. this is the lesson i want my children to learn: God will be their provider, He never leaves, He is the one to call on in time of sorrow. i want to live my life in such a way that my children know who i depend on, and so they know they can depend on Him as well.

Singing a song of praise

I sat at Brainerd Hills Baptist Church tonight and watched as Emily Grace sang her song. I could not stop smiling. It is such a beautiful sight to see your child serving the Lord with the gift He has given her. I came to appreciate this more, as I was approached by a man who could barely hold back the tears as he told me how impressed he was with Emily Grace, and how real her testimony was in song. He had an understanding of where our life is right now, and was completely moved by the way Emily Grace portrayed her image of Christ in the song of praise she sang. As a parent, I look on everyday and wonder if I am doing it right....the daily routines of trying to raise godly children....and from the heart of a stranger, I am given encouragement that I just might be headed in the right direction. My prayer is that my children will keep praising their Lord and always follow Him, even when the path is narrow. I hope they will continue on and sing that song of praise!

A Happy New Year?

Today is January 1, 2010. I am left wondering today what this year will hold for my family... Though I am a strong believer, and my hope is in God, I am also human, and that human side of me is scared, worried, devastated. God has given me so much, so why would I expect anything more in this life? WHY? Because God promises us, that he listens...He has our best interest at heart....there is only one problem....free will....God gives us this free will to make the decisions for our lives. Oh, He is still there to help us along the way, but in our decisions we make, are we looking to Him for that Help? In the struggles I am facing right this minute, I want to strive to focus on what God has for me....He truly has blessed me with four beautiful children...and for that I am so very happy...He has also given me so many supportive friends and family members...and for that I am also very happy... So, I ask again...a Happy New Year? I think that yes, it can be, if I choose to focus on the right things, or better yet the right GOD.